Sunday, March 13, 2016

Grateful Post..

You've always taken me seriously, God..
Thank You.
This exactly is what I need to hear this evening.
Thank You for revealing this to me.

Blessings, everyone!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

What They Forgot To Tell You About Pregnancy

What they forgot to tell you about pregnancy

What it feels like to have your ribs used as footrests...from the inside.

That sometimes it appears like you have a strange alien creature with 10 arms and legs about to burst out your belly button...ewww!!

That you will probably want to go out and buy a box of adult diapers for the amount of times you end up peeing in your underwear while coughing, sneezing, laughing or throwing up.

That by the end of your pregnancy, you will need a forklift to help get you off the couch or bed (or at least one really strong person).

That even the silliest of things will make you cry your eyes out.

How many times you will have to call the doctor about all your super embarrassing female questions.

That the toilet will become your new "best friend" or "second home" for at least one reason or another.

That you don't really know the meaning of a full bladder until you've had to do an ultrasound....or been kicked there from the inside.

How bad those mood swings really can out everyone!

That you will get so big, you will have to stand sideways when washing dishes, doing laundry or brushing your teeth.

That everybody else around you apparently is a pregnancy expert, especially your mother in law.

That you won't be cutting your own toenails for quite a few months if you can't get anyone to help you.

Forget about shaving for quite a while too...unless you REALLY trust your partner!

That it becomes really hard to squat over the toilet with all that extra about good leg exercises!

That the simplest of things, like walking up a flight of stairs or walking to get the mail, would make you feel like you really need a nap.

That people suddenly feel like they have the right to rub and pat your growing it's not attached to the rest of you.

That the word "discharge" would become a common part of your vocabulary....and the scary thing won't be embarrassed!

That they just don't make sexy bras in DD's. It's all about support, support and more support!

Sexy can forget those too! Comfort and cotton...that's it!

That you will never look at your husband quite the same again.

That your breasts start leaking BEFORE the baby is even here yet.

That you will cry when strangers say to you, "any day now?", when you are only 6 months along.

That whoever coined the term "morning sickness" didn't know what they were talking about. What it should be named is "morning, midday, afternoon, evening and night sickness".

What it actually feels like to be kicked or headbutted in the cervix..owww!!

That rolling over in bed from one side of your body to the other is a huge chore requiring lots of huffing and puffing.

That the sleepless nights begin BEFORE the baby is born.

That you had better buy some slip on shoes for when you get real big...unless you are going to have someone around to tie your shoes for you.

That you will spend so much time cleaning and re-cleaning the same exact things over and over again in preparation for the baby's arrival.

That you won't care how much of a pig you look like when you gobble down your second full plate of food...much to every one's amazement!

That memory is.....darn it! What was I going to say?

That you can both hysterically laugh and hysterically cry within the same few moments.

That your sense of smell is a lot better than it used to be, especially when it comes to the things that make you nauseous.

That you will start to break out in pimples like you are going through puberty all over again.

Monday, March 08, 2010

We've Got Twin! Can You Believe It??

Hmpff.. finally I can be here again!
Yeahh.. this pregnancy stuff makes me a little bit lazy in doing almost anything! So if I had nothing so important to do, I'd prefer to get some sleep! :)

At first, I often felt confused about my health. I've been easily feeling tired and it seems to feel like I need sleep for thousand hours! Because this is my first pregnancy, I took it for granted, just before I knew the fact that I've been conceiving twin! Can you believe it? Twin! Wheww..

You know what, happiness is definitely contagious. No, it's not me that spread the happiness, but the twin do. Everyone that hears this twin stuff always says that I am blessed and I must be very, very happy. Oh, don't be so fast. If you know me in person, you'll know that I am just a 'flat' person, never be too enthusiast about anything, including this pregnancy thing. But the happiness, the screams I've heard, the surprise expressions on ones' faces I've seen (when they hear about the twin stuff), those things had brightened my days. They brought me special joys and happiness. Although I can't imagine how busy we'll be about this twin's business if they are born, I try to enjoy every minute of my time. Yes, as ones always say 'This is a double portion blessing. You should be enjoying your blessing'. Oh yes, I will.. :)

I just recall the day I prayed that God may open me the doors that had been being closed for a little while. The doors of opportunities, the doors of blessings, the doors of multiplying, the doors of any other things I've even never heard and thought or imagined about, and yeah, I think He's doing something wonderful for me right now. (I've never imagined about the twin also!). I just have to know that His timing is different with mine. Maybe I have to wait for a little while before He shows up, but I know it will be worth it. Oh.. what a journey I have with Him.

I pray that God from whom all blessings flow will always grant you with all the best blessings from heaven, as He blesses me (and even more!). And may He encourages you to keep your faith in Him. Cause I know, His mercy endures forever. As the Psalmist says
'I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from?
My help come from The LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth'
Psalms 121:1,2 NIV

Saturday, January 23, 2010

... And The Journey Has Begun!

Okay. I'm a little bit confused here about the timing calculation of pregnancy. When I googling to find any useful info due to the pregnancy, I found that the calculation is started from the first day of my last period, so by the time I got the positive pregnancy test (3 weeks after fertilization), I considered to be 5 weeks pregnant. So now, when I consider myself to be 5 weeks pregnant, I should be 7 weeks pregnant. Oh my.. so confusing, isn't it?

I start to consider eating as a chore. Always feel hungry! At first weeks I couldn't eat a lot. I would feel uncomfortable by then so I have to cut off my normal portion. I would eat just a half portion. A little but often. But now, I seem to be a monster that eats any kind of food!! -LOL-.

Although exercise is good for mom-to-be, still I'm afraid. Besides I'm an exercise hater, I'm also afraid that the exercise will hurt the baby (at least, that's my opinion!).

The weather is unpredictable here, so it's so hard to find sunlight to get sunbathed in the morning. These past weeks, the sky has always been cloudy, especially in the morning. I don't even know whether it's summer or rainy here. Sometime it's hot, and just in a little while, the sky turns cloudy, and suddenly the rain falls down.

According to, at this week, the baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of blueberry. Can you imagine it? Honestly I can't. For me, it's too difficult to imagine, but it reminds me of some verses from Psalm 139:

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16, NIV

Yes, I praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, the same way He does with the baby in my womb. He makes this little creature in the secret place -inside my body- even without any intervention of mine! How wonderful it is..

I am good, feeling fine, but I'm sad that so far, my hubby is the one who so often gets sick. Here in Indonesia, pregnant women used to yearn for some kind of food along the pregnancy. It's called 'mengidam' or 'ngidam' here. My hubby had promised me a long, long time before I got pregnant that he will be ngidam when I get pregnant, so I don't need to be busy preparing or 'fighting' for the food I'm yearning for (especially if I should ngidam in the midnight). So maybe that's why he gets sick and I'm fine.. :) I hope he gets well soon and everything goes better everyday.

Yeah.. the journey has begun and I am trying to enjoy every single moment of it..

Monday, January 11, 2010

A New Beginning

You know what, I've just found that I am... pregnant!!!

Yeah, if you know me in person, you might know that I'm not someone who really desires a baby. My first two years of marriage was filled by all the questions about the baby, and it completely drove me crazy!

I don't know how my feeling was when I got the fact that I got pregnant. Happy, sad, confused, and in between.. Yeahh.. I'm happy because this is such a gift. But I'm sad and confused at once because many dreams won't be achieved immediately. But yeah, however, I'll take this as a great blessing from God. So many couples yearn to have a child but for many reasons, they can't. So I have to be thankful, right? :)

One thing I also am thankful for is that I got no morning sickness or anything sort of that. I am healthy and I am feeling good, have no big changes on my body, even till I often ask myself 'Do I really pregnant?' hahaha. Just make sure..

Honestly, this is one of unexpected things I find in my journey. But I try to have no regret in life. Whatever happens in my life, happens for a reason. So I can stand still and keep walking however the circumstance is.

Please pray for me, friends. It's a new experience for me. I am really newbie in this! I've never imagined myself being pregnant but I am ready for what will happen. Although me and my hubby hadn't planned this child yet, but I'm sure God has planned it even before we did. Sometime I worry about things relating to this pregnancy (most of moms-to-be should understand this feeling!^^). But once again, I know God knows the best for me and my family. He planned it all and He's working, no matter I see Him or not, and He always be there for us so I don't need to be worried bout a thing..

Blessings, everyone!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Life Must Go On!

Last week, 2 faithful ladies, members of our church had passed away. One because she was old (91 yrs), and another one was because she had been keeping something in her mind for months. Well, both were faithful church members we can never forget. All families and relatives of them both must be very proud of them. After all, we can say that both had received all the peace and joy that God only can provide in heaven above.

Okay, I won't talk about the old one. I just want to share with you about the younger lady that God had called home to be with Him. She was such a faithful lady. She was diligent, always got involved in any church programs, willing to be a volunteer if needed, and had a great faith in God. But one thing I regret about her death was she couldn't give up her life and her cares to God. She always felt that everything was her responsibility and she had to bear all problems on her shoulders herself. She always said that she had been a faithful follower of God but she couldn't stand those problems for any longer. She regretted many things in life. And all thing she wanted was just die. Yeah, she always repeated that to us. No matter how many advices, counsels or strengthen words we told her, she kept the death idea in her mind. She did have a heart disease for years, but it had never bothered her as she hadn't be bothered by her minds.

I don't believe if someone says that age is in God's hands. Yup. That may be right. But it also depends on how we spend our lives. Actually, we can cast all our anxieties and worries upon Him. But, it's still be our choice. We can also keep those problems in our minds instead. You may remember when I wrote here that I intended to suicide because I wasn't able to stand for my life for any longer. At that times, I supposed that I wasn't afraid to facing death at all. I was ready. Indeed. But for now, after seeing what had happened with my beloved sister in faith, I doubt it. I started to rethink and reevaluate my life. What is my life for? Is it worth it to fight for? And finally, I came up to a conclusion that my life is precious indeed. No matter what may happen to me, I have one life and have to do something with it.

Oh my.. how a death could awaken us and change our point of view about life! I'm not thankful for the lady's death, but I'm thankful that through that, I was reminded that life is too short to spend with crying and blaming and regretting and disappointment and any other bad feelings.
Life must go on..
What will you fill your life with?

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Best Is Yet To Come

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he,
I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4, NIV

I want to be a better person day by day. I know, it's not easy. So I try to learn something new everyday, read more articles, do many things needed, and mostly, read my Bible.

You know what, at some point I thought that life pressure would beat me down. There were times I couldn't see God and even I wasn't able to sense His presence. Seriously. I know, you may think that I'm a little bit exaggerating or yeah.. something like that, but it is true. I am telling you the truth. I have been feeling so abandoned, forsaken, lonely and empty. Although I keep reading my Bible as long as I can. Although my family has been so nice and has never abandoned me in real meaning.

Yeah.. you may be bored reading my murmuring and complaining post. But hold on.. Through that circumstance, slowly but sure I began to feel that God has really been watching me. He started to make a move for me. Slowly. I don't know how to say it, but I sensed that God always works in slow motion for me. In many times, He even made delays in many parts of my life. Perhaps He also works that way in this circumstance. God only knows..

My Bible reading for these past 3 days has brought me some enlightenments. There were verses that I've known so well suddenly showed up and sounded like I've never heard before. Things started to be revealed for me. And I thank God for it. I just have to learn that God makes everything beautiful in His time. Not my timing, but His. Oh, I have to admit, it's so hard to keep up with God's plan. It's not really fun to give yourself up for Him can take the lead without knowing where your journey is heading to. No, it's not easy for somebody like me who always wants to see the reality before believing. But probably, through this way I supposed to learn that I have to believe Him even though I don't see anything.

Probably, like Abraham, against all hope, I have to dare to trust God what only God could do in my life. The verse above was one of what I heard God said clearly to me. He will sustain me even to my old age. Isn't it wonderful? If you ever felt abandoned or forsaken, you must be understood the power of this promise. By then, I know I'm in progress. I just won't to be stuck in wherever I am. I want to make a move with Him. I want this life to always be in progress with Him. If I'm not able, I know He'll make any big leap or any breakthroughs or anything needed for my growth.

Yeah.. this isn't life I signed up for, but I still hope and keep hoping for the best. For the best is yet to come.. :).

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

In The Journey

I'm addicted to digital scrapbooking.
I found this stuff really useful for my personal development. I became more conscious about who I really am, what I love, how I should be and everything relating to the journey of me finding myself. Yeah.. I know, it's a journey and I am going through the process.

Somehow I think I don't know myself well, you know. Yes. Seriously. Maybe that's why my hubby once told me that I seemed to have a double personality.. I don't know. Maybe he was right. But I am an avid learner. I keep learning about anything (I like). I think, if God created me for certain purposes, He must put a big passion for those things inside my heart. So here I am searching the true purpose of my life.. A little too late, ain't I? Yeah.. But, if it depends on me, I'll say it's never too late to learn something!

If you are like me, still on the process and a bit confused about what you should do, I encourage you to find anything you like, learn about it, master it, and do what you love. I know, it's not too easy as what have been said. Each of us has to experience it ourselves. But it's really worth it.

As I write this, I remember a part of 'My Favorite Things' lyrics from The Sound of Music:
When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad..

Ohh.. if only this life is as simple as that lyric.. :)

BTW, my scrap above is about my hubby. He never likes to be photographed. But when his friends asked him to display his pictures on Facebook, he asked me to photograph him. So, this is the result. Beautifully photographed, isn't it? :)

Credits: Life in Blue Kit by Droopette

Friday, October 30, 2009

When Life Is Going Nowhere..

Have you ever felt that your life was going nowhere? Stuck. No ways to walk out. Trapped in a pit without sunshine to shine on your face? Read your Bible, praying and do your Christianity to-do lists without finding anything that gets you out of there?

Yeah.. I have been going through that situation. Reading my Bible without understanding what was God speaking to me, praying without any clue that my prayers will get answered. I have no idea why God seems to leave me. He appears to walk away from me. He has been silent for .. I don't now, it seems forever for me. A long, long time without good connection with God. As I know, I've been trying to do anything good, but I always failed. God seems to be nowhere, don't care how hard I push myself to approach Him.

I just felt I couldn't stand it any longer. I told God this morning to speak to me through anything. I would open my laptop, checked my emails, my daily devotionals, and I was hoping that He heard me and would get me into a place I could meet Him or at least, heard His voice. And you know, I didn't know how, I arrived at Lysa Terkeurst's blog (you can read the post here) where she wrote about her experience with God, and the same feeling as I've been feeling for months.

Here's what she wrote ..

There have been many days in my Christian journey where God was reduced to something on my to do list. Somewhere along the way I picked up a checklist of sort of what good Christians are supposed to do: Pray. Read your Bible. Go to church. Don't cuss. Be nice.

Being the rule following girl I am, I subscribed to that list and waited with great expectations to receive the zap of contentment and happiness good Christians girls are supposed to exude.

And then I felt something was wrong me.

I still felt restless. I still got angry. I still felt a bit hollow.

I was going through all the motions but didn't feel connected to Jesus. Others around me seemed very connected. They would talk of being 'moved by the spirit.' They would hear from God himself. They would clap their hands and shout amen in the middle of a sermon that sounded like Greek to me.

I often felt like a weightless soul grasping at the air hoping to somehow snag this Jesus that was just out of reach.

Have you ever been there?

(You can continue reading by clicking the link above).

And this was exactly what I feel! And yeah.. I also found that this post had 74 comments! It means that almost 74 people once in their lives ever felt this way, too. I continued reading the comments and found this encouraging comment from Joyful (you must read her encouraging blog!).

I read once that the Lord can only be silent with those He knows will continue to seek His face. He sees you. He loves you. He is with you. His word never returns void. Keep spending time with Him. I just really feel He is molding something very special within your heart. I know sometimes it's hard. I know sometimes it's frustrating. Don't give up. He sees the longing of your heart and His Word promises that those who diligently seek Him will find Him.

It got me thinking. Could it be me? Could God be silent with me because He knows that I will continue to seek His face? I don't know. So far, I persevere :).

And this one from Anonymous..

Although life gets hectic, there are reminders all around us. If we look up and see the changing sky, the clouds dancing and changing color. We are experiencing a reminder of the One who created it all.

Okay. I have to admit. Perhaps God has been showing me His clues and direction for me to find, but probably my eyes can't see it clearly, because of all pains and sorrows I've been bearing these times had become my main focus. Hopefully, we all can see His directions through anything He puts around us to remind us that He, God of the universe is there, not leaving us alone..

Forgive me, Lord. Please, let me see You. I want to know You deeper. I want to see Your glory revealed through and in my life. Use me according to Your will. Take my whole life, Lord. Please, don't leave me alone. I can't handle it myself. I need You.

Thank You for speaking to me through certain blogs and its comments.

Blessed be Your Name..


This is a devotional from Anchor Your Life, written by Marji Kruger. I found it resonated with what I feel today. Yeah.. if He created us differently each other, we have to know what's our uniqueness and personal purposes He put in each of us in order to be fulfilled.

Oh, please read it yourself..

Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. (NIV) Isaiah 64:8

Sitting on a balcony overlooking the Gulf of Mexico with my laptop in hand I am in awe! What a great setting! It always amazes me to look out on creation and see the diversity that God created. I watch the pelicans and seagulls flying around, occasionally dipping down into the water for breakfast...the fish jumping, the water is ever moving...the diversity of the trees and plant life... palm trees of different heights and shapes, bending at all different angles...saw grass, oak trees, pine trees...even trees in the middle of the bay behind me, seemingly growing without land.

God created diversity...different lines, heights, and shapes. In contrast, man has made things symmetrical, straight, and repetitive...the pilings supporting the dock are all the same heights at the same angles, spaced at the same distance...the docks are all at right angles... picnic tables, garbage cans, chairs, light posts all uniform. God created diversity, man uniformity.

That teaches me that God works differently each time He does something. His purposes and character do not change, but He is not confined to always work in the same way. And God does not create people the same. Each person is unique, different in looks, styles, personalities and purposes.

Why did God create you? What unique talents has He given you? What is His unique purpose for you? And what are the unique ways that He is and will work in you? Not sure, try asking Him!

Written by Marji "Mike" Kruger.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


We all know that deep inside us, we have a need to be loved and to be accepted just the way we are. But so often, we get stumbled on people's attitude that treat us badly. So, the words 'You're not good enough', or 'You're not lovable enough', and many inferior feelings always there haunting our lives. When I read this article, it got me thinking that definitely, I'm not the only person in the world who feel that way. I'm not alone. Many people out there are suffering the same pain with me due to this 'worth' thing. So, in case you're like me, ever feel this way, this article may be helpful..

The vast majority of us, since childhood, have been trying desperately to prove our worth. We try to prove our worth to our parents, teachers, friends and lovers. We become so absorbed in meeting their standards that we missed out finding our own potential.

To focus our life in proving ourselves to others is not only a loosing battle but a waste of time.

The downside of proving your worth to others is that different people has different standards of what being “worthy” means. To be obsessed in proving our worth to another person is to give that person control in your life. Now think how many persons are you trying to prove your worth?


That mean 10 people are somehow stirring your life in 10 different directions.

Feeling dizzy?

If we give more time meeting other’s standards, we may sacrifice finding our own identity.

God did not create us to prove ourselves to others, but to live life to the full. Jesus Himself said: “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” And we shall find life’s fullness in discovering and living out our vocation. Our vocation is God’s will, calling and plan for our lives.

“Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work.” -John 4:34

To discover and realize God’s plans for our lives is to open ourselves to unlimited possibilities that we have not even come to imagine. Living out our vocation is to let the seed of greatness that God planted in us grow. And like a small mustard seed, it shall grow into a great tree.

The road to greatness is the path of discovering our God given gifts and living out our vocation. We should stop trying to meet other people’s standards and start living in His.

In every one of us lies a great potential.

You do not need to prove it.

It is there.

What you need to do is live it.

…unlimited possibilities awaits.

Blog by Daxx Bondoc


This is an inspiring article of Greg Laurie's blog that I consider very useful and comforting when I read it. So, I just copy paste here on my blog so you can read it also. Yeah.. talking about suffering, we really want to avoid it, but still we have to go through it, and if we would, we could learn something from it. Happy reading..

I am going to deal with the question, can God bring good out of bad? I believe the answer is “Yes!”

Look, suffering is inevitable. No one gets a free pass. The fact of the matter is that you are either coming out of a storm or headed into another. It’s just a matter of time.

In this life, the only way to avoid suffering is to die.

What you want to do is get ready now, so you will have a proper biblical foundation and can properly process and react as these challenges come into your life.

Prepare ahead of time

As Randy Alcorn says in his book If God is Good, “Most of us don’t give focused thought to evil and suffering until we experience them. This forces us to formulate perspective on the fly, at a time when our thinking is muddled and we’re exhausted and consumed by pressing issues. People who have ‘been there’ will attest that it’s far better to think through suffering in advance.”

In other words, be prepared ahead of time!

Avoiding storms

Paul reminds us that we are to “Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts, and make you wise. Use his words to teach and counsel each other” (Colossians 3:16).

But we would rather not do that, because the topic of suffering is difficult and uncomfortable.

Suffering is one of those things we all want to avoid if at all possible. If you are flying and you see a storm, you try to fly around it, not into it.

But here’s the reality—sometimes you simply cannot do that. Your life can be going reasonably well one moment, and then it changes in a flash.

That certainly happened for our family.

Good things out of suffering?

Here is one of the “good things” that come out of crisis and suffering. You turn to God with a dependence like you have never had before, like a child running to their mom or dad and burying their face in their shoulder.

And you know what? God is there waiting for you with the strength, peace, and love you need. Not necessarily with all the answers you may want, but He is there.

One of the things you “treasure” in suffering is knowing God’s presence as you do. Your faith begins to grow stronger.

Use it or lose it!

Faith does not grow through ease and comfort. It grows through challenge, conflict, and difficulty.

Faith is like a muscle in that it gets stronger through use, not neglect. If you do not use your muscle, it can atrophy.

We have a choice in life—use it or lose it!

The Bible reminds us, “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” (James 1:2-4 THE MESSAGE).

Source : Greg Laurie's blog