Once more, thank God for speaking to me through this devotional.
This devo has a really deep, deep meaning to me..
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water" (Ps. 63:1).
The desert holds a special place in God's Word. The Scriptures portray the desert as a place of inspiration and exaltation - a place where people met God in a powerful new way. King David wrote the 63rd Psalm while in exile in the Desert of Judah. He was hiding from his son Absalom, who wanted to replace him as king of Israel.
For Joseph, a deep pit in the desert was the first stop on a 13-year journey through desolation and despair. That 13-year desert experience served to break Joseph's self-will and self-confidence. It taught him that he could not control anything and that he needed to rely on God to manage the events in his life. Joseph's desert trial prepared him by scorching the youthful pride and arrogance out of his young life so that when he was 30 years old he could rule Egypt at Pharaoh's side in a spirit of humility and servant-hood.
Before becoming king of Israel, David was a shepherd. Part of his training for leadership involved hand-to-claw combat with the beasts of the wilderness, including the lion and the bear. Elijah learned the principles of spiritual leadership while in the wilderness of Gilead. And Jesus was tempted and tested for 40 days in the desert before He began to preach.
Perhaps God has given you a dream, but now it seems that your dream has withered and died under the scorching desert sun. It seems that God has gone away and is not listening to your prayers. But I want you to know that that your dream still lives. God is with you, even if you can't see Him, hear Him or sense His presence. He is preparing you in the desert.
*Devotional from Prime Time with God
Yeah.. feel like I've been being in the desert 'till now. But I realize that probably He's preparing me to do something purposeful in my life, which is greater than my dreams or even greater than my life.
So, be it unto me, Lord.
Let Thy will be done in me..
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Today, 13 Years Ago..
Today 13 years ago, I lost my father. He was died mysteriously. I mean, maybe he got heart attack or something like that. He called me by phone 3 times the day before it, and suddenly, when we (me, my mom and my brother) came to the house he was staying (he was in our relative's house in other city -having a ministry- and we would have a holiday together afterward), he had gone. So sad..
Yeah, after my father passed away, sooo many things happened in our family's life. Rejection, denial, intimidation, bullying, conflicts, and any bad things you could never imagined. And.. for years afterward I lived with hatred, bitterness, disappointment, anger, and oh, so inappropriate to mention it one by one here.
I think that my soul was full of bitterness, remembering of what had happened to my family as my father's death. I had even ever thought that I might not be able to continue my life. Couldn't feel peace, or joy or something wonderful in my life, especially if I see who made it to my family. They were people who supposed to be role models or inspirations, and they were people who involved so much in ministry. They shouldn't do it. They should do something to bless my family. But yeah.. the were human beings, too, definitely! And they had let me down..
I just thank God for letting me got through this. If I looked aback, I always found that I've learned so many good things from that experience. I can differ what's good and what's bad. I became known what I should do and what I shouldn't. I understood so many 'how will be my feeling if I get.... like that' feelings, and .. yeah, many wonderful things come from bad things, I guess. I believe that everything will be beautiful in His time. I can't see it right now, but I will later. I believe that anything God has done in my life has always been good. And He never makes mistakes, even though when I consider them mistakes, His plans are perfect and fit for me. Although I fail, His plans will go on in my life..
I can't see my future clearly, but one thing I'm sure, I'll be safe and secure in my journey with Him. I won't my pasts keep haunting me. I've released all spirits which have bound me in my past. I no longer live with bitterness. I wanna live in peace and joy cause I know Who is holding my hand. I'm sure if I didn't loose my father, I may haven't known my Heavenly father, cause my father's shadow was too comfort for me. So, yeah, it might be the best thing had ever came into my life.
Yeah, all I want is that God will reveal His plan unto me, but He apparently won't to. He always be silent and remains mysterious for me. Maybe all that He wants that I just be faithful and willing to be shaped to be a better me, even the best me, for through it the world can see that I've got a Mighty, Alive God in me..
Life isn't fair, but it's good enough, is it?
^^
Yeah, after my father passed away, sooo many things happened in our family's life. Rejection, denial, intimidation, bullying, conflicts, and any bad things you could never imagined. And.. for years afterward I lived with hatred, bitterness, disappointment, anger, and oh, so inappropriate to mention it one by one here.
I think that my soul was full of bitterness, remembering of what had happened to my family as my father's death. I had even ever thought that I might not be able to continue my life. Couldn't feel peace, or joy or something wonderful in my life, especially if I see who made it to my family. They were people who supposed to be role models or inspirations, and they were people who involved so much in ministry. They shouldn't do it. They should do something to bless my family. But yeah.. the were human beings, too, definitely! And they had let me down..
I just thank God for letting me got through this. If I looked aback, I always found that I've learned so many good things from that experience. I can differ what's good and what's bad. I became known what I should do and what I shouldn't. I understood so many 'how will be my feeling if I get.... like that' feelings, and .. yeah, many wonderful things come from bad things, I guess. I believe that everything will be beautiful in His time. I can't see it right now, but I will later. I believe that anything God has done in my life has always been good. And He never makes mistakes, even though when I consider them mistakes, His plans are perfect and fit for me. Although I fail, His plans will go on in my life..
I can't see my future clearly, but one thing I'm sure, I'll be safe and secure in my journey with Him. I won't my pasts keep haunting me. I've released all spirits which have bound me in my past. I no longer live with bitterness. I wanna live in peace and joy cause I know Who is holding my hand. I'm sure if I didn't loose my father, I may haven't known my Heavenly father, cause my father's shadow was too comfort for me. So, yeah, it might be the best thing had ever came into my life.
Yeah, all I want is that God will reveal His plan unto me, but He apparently won't to. He always be silent and remains mysterious for me. Maybe all that He wants that I just be faithful and willing to be shaped to be a better me, even the best me, for through it the world can see that I've got a Mighty, Alive God in me..
Life isn't fair, but it's good enough, is it?
^^
HE CAN USE ANYTHING, HE CAN USE US, TOO..
Have heard a great testimony this evening. About a man, who comes from a small town in our country, ever did a huge mistake, rejected by many people, and given up his life to Jesus, so God has been using him not only in the city where he lives, but to all over the world.
Yeah, think that I often limiting God by seeing my circumstance. I often think that circumstance does matter. My knowledge, my skills, my abilities, and any attribute of mine will do, but I know now that it's wrong. Circumstances and any attribute we have do matter only if we count on ourselves, not God. If we look at Him Who owns everything, we'll see that all that matters is Who is inside us, and Whom we walk with on our life's journey. It's all that really matters in our lives. And it's enough.
We can be weak. Sometime silly, sometime do ridiculous things, fail here and there, be disappointed, be broken, and get through any difficulties we can't handle. Yes, we can't do it by our power, but we have a Mighty God, and it does make a difference. Ones can make differences by their willingness to pursuing God's will for their lives, do whatever it is and dedicate themselves for God's glory.
Thank God for allowing me hear this testimonial. I do really need it! There are times in my life I suppose that I need to see evidences (oh, I ashamed to admit it but it's true.. how little my faith can be sometime!). And I am thankful for meeting so many inspiring people in my life. I became known that no matter who we are, as long as we are in God's hand, we can be something useful for His kingdom. I always want to do something great in my life. I don't like to be quiet and relax and stay in my comfort zone. No, I wanna do something for Him, but so often I loose my mind and get out of track.. :)
I do believe now, if God can use any other people, He can use me, too. As He could use Noah, Moses, Abraham, Apostle Paul, Billy Graham or even Benny Hinn, He can use me if I'm willing to give Him my heart..
Yeah, think that I often limiting God by seeing my circumstance. I often think that circumstance does matter. My knowledge, my skills, my abilities, and any attribute of mine will do, but I know now that it's wrong. Circumstances and any attribute we have do matter only if we count on ourselves, not God. If we look at Him Who owns everything, we'll see that all that matters is Who is inside us, and Whom we walk with on our life's journey. It's all that really matters in our lives. And it's enough.
We can be weak. Sometime silly, sometime do ridiculous things, fail here and there, be disappointed, be broken, and get through any difficulties we can't handle. Yes, we can't do it by our power, but we have a Mighty God, and it does make a difference. Ones can make differences by their willingness to pursuing God's will for their lives, do whatever it is and dedicate themselves for God's glory.
Thank God for allowing me hear this testimonial. I do really need it! There are times in my life I suppose that I need to see evidences (oh, I ashamed to admit it but it's true.. how little my faith can be sometime!). And I am thankful for meeting so many inspiring people in my life. I became known that no matter who we are, as long as we are in God's hand, we can be something useful for His kingdom. I always want to do something great in my life. I don't like to be quiet and relax and stay in my comfort zone. No, I wanna do something for Him, but so often I loose my mind and get out of track.. :)
I do believe now, if God can use any other people, He can use me, too. As He could use Noah, Moses, Abraham, Apostle Paul, Billy Graham or even Benny Hinn, He can use me if I'm willing to give Him my heart..
If You can use anything Lord, I believe that You can use me.
Prove to Your people that You are alive in my life.
Lord, I'm available to You.
I am waiting to be used.
Take my hands and my feet.
If You can use anything, Lord,
come on and use me..
Saturday, June 27, 2009
So Happy
I'm so happy!
I can get my fonts, its color and its size back to what I wanted on this blog.
Thank you, Sue, for the advice. I had already done the way you suggested me but I got nothing. Probably, the internet connection here should be blame.. hehehe!
Yeah, thank God for making it works..
(Hey, we have to be thankful for anything happens in our lives, haven't we? :D)
*dancing mode on*
I can get my fonts, its color and its size back to what I wanted on this blog.
Thank you, Sue, for the advice. I had already done the way you suggested me but I got nothing. Probably, the internet connection here should be blame.. hehehe!
Yeah, thank God for making it works..
(Hey, we have to be thankful for anything happens in our lives, haven't we? :D)
*dancing mode on*
A Little Suggestion for Parents
My goodness.. maybe this will be my most ridiculous post ever!
But, I keep pushing to write here. Just wanna share with you my suggestion about how parents should be. No, I don't have any certain purpose. I even have no children yet to give you an advice or two, I just want to speak out my insight as a child, not as a wonderful parent..
As a child, I was raised well, in fear and love of God. I have to admit it. But, sometime, I felt that my father was too hard pushing me to be discipline, ignoring that I was too young to understand what was taught to me.
My father was so temperamental. He wouldn't be 'hesitate' to punish his children if we made mistake. Yes, he would punished us, no matter how little mistake we did! I knew eventually that his intention was for our goodness. But, his way of punishing won't be vanishing from our memory (especially, me!). And, if I recall those moments, I can see that the way parents treat their children will impact the way the children see God.
If the parents raised their children in love and understanding, this will be the foundation for the children to know God. They will see God as love and full of understanding, just like the way they see their parents are! But, if the parents raised the children with careless, never forgive them, and always punish them, this also will be the basic doctrine the children learn about God. They will think that God is like their parents: careless, never forgive, cruel, and sort of it!
Yeah, this is my real experience. No, I've no intention to hurt anyone, especially my father (he is in peace in heaven right now!:)). But this is true. Probably, as parents you may not feel it. But, as a child, I knew it well. The way my parents treat me as a child built an image in my head about who God was and how His nature was. No matter how many times you told your children that God loves them, if you don't treat it that way to them, they won't feel it that way. Your actions speak louder than your speech..
Please, parents, watch out your attitude to your children. Preach will be nothing without actions. Don't let your children become like me, who learn many things about God from the way her parents treat her, and just found that her paradigm has definitely wrong right after she was already grown up. So it's a little uneasy to change it ..
Please, no offense. I am not judging anyone. I'm so sorry if I made mistake here. Please take this as a little reminder to you. Just share my experience, my friend..
Blessings!
But, I keep pushing to write here. Just wanna share with you my suggestion about how parents should be. No, I don't have any certain purpose. I even have no children yet to give you an advice or two, I just want to speak out my insight as a child, not as a wonderful parent..
As a child, I was raised well, in fear and love of God. I have to admit it. But, sometime, I felt that my father was too hard pushing me to be discipline, ignoring that I was too young to understand what was taught to me.
My father was so temperamental. He wouldn't be 'hesitate' to punish his children if we made mistake. Yes, he would punished us, no matter how little mistake we did! I knew eventually that his intention was for our goodness. But, his way of punishing won't be vanishing from our memory (especially, me!). And, if I recall those moments, I can see that the way parents treat their children will impact the way the children see God.
If the parents raised their children in love and understanding, this will be the foundation for the children to know God. They will see God as love and full of understanding, just like the way they see their parents are! But, if the parents raised the children with careless, never forgive them, and always punish them, this also will be the basic doctrine the children learn about God. They will think that God is like their parents: careless, never forgive, cruel, and sort of it!
Yeah, this is my real experience. No, I've no intention to hurt anyone, especially my father (he is in peace in heaven right now!:)). But this is true. Probably, as parents you may not feel it. But, as a child, I knew it well. The way my parents treat me as a child built an image in my head about who God was and how His nature was. No matter how many times you told your children that God loves them, if you don't treat it that way to them, they won't feel it that way. Your actions speak louder than your speech..
Please, parents, watch out your attitude to your children. Preach will be nothing without actions. Don't let your children become like me, who learn many things about God from the way her parents treat her, and just found that her paradigm has definitely wrong right after she was already grown up. So it's a little uneasy to change it ..
Please, no offense. I am not judging anyone. I'm so sorry if I made mistake here. Please take this as a little reminder to you. Just share my experience, my friend..
Blessings!
Experience God Every Day
I received this devo from Zondervan this afternoon.
And, omigosh.. it has something to shout out loudly to me, cause this was my true experience. This was what I did before I got back here. I lived, but I wasn't living. Oh, please, just read this devo..
Ugh, what do you say?
For me, I'll change my way of living.
Oh, thank God, for speaking so clearly to me..
Shew me Thy ways, o Lord,; teach me Thy paths.
Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me; for Thou art The God of my salvation: on Thee do I wait all the day..
Ps. 25:4,5
And, omigosh.. it has something to shout out loudly to me, cause this was my true experience. This was what I did before I got back here. I lived, but I wasn't living. Oh, please, just read this devo..
If we don't think about God, pray to God, listen for God's voice, and consciously serve God, by definition we live an ungodly life. We usually think of "ungodly" as being against God, but ungodly can also be a life that simply ignores God or — out of business, indifference, religiosity, or apathy — simply doesn't tap in to God. In this sense, it is possible to give an ungodly sermon that may be theologically accurate. It is possible to lead ungodly family devotions that nevertheless focus on spiritual truth. Christianity doesn't address only the ends; it has a lively interest in the means. That's why every healthy, growing believer should experience God every day — his presence, his power, his wisdom.
Ugh, what do you say?
For me, I'll change my way of living.
Oh, thank God, for speaking so clearly to me..
Shew me Thy ways, o Lord,; teach me Thy paths.
Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me; for Thou art The God of my salvation: on Thee do I wait all the day..
Ps. 25:4,5
WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN LIFE?
If I have to make it shorten, I'll say that life is just about what do you look for. I mean, it's true, a quote that says that there's no reality, only perception. Life is indeed how we look at it. If we look at it happily, everything will make us happy, but when we start to look at it with anger or disappointment, cling.. magically, the happiness will be vanished, turn to something you got deep down in your heart.
These few past months, I've looked for something I knew I wouldn't get it from anywhere else but God, but I ignored that feeling and kept looking for. And, yeah you know, the result was zero. Big, big zero. Anything happens in my life in that moment had always ended up with disappointment, cause I dug from the wrong wells..
Now I try to change my focus. I won't to live that way continually. I do want to change. And, as I intended to do so, slowly but sure I feel that my world is changing with me. I started to find many interesting thing to learn about, inspiring things are everywhere, and.. many good things are coming into my life! I also found that every blogs or websites I found had definitely have something to say to me. And they have really been encouraging me!
Yeah, feel like finding a brand new me. Someone I've never known inside me suddenly stands up right before me. I supposed that I've to learn about much more things that God has definitely granted to my life, something I used to ignore before :).
Thanks, Lord, for showing up Yourself to me. Now I see You everywhere, through anything I met in my life. If I had never seen You clearly before, it probably because I saw too much me. So I couldn't see the sun, only the shadow. Couldn't see the light, only darkness. Thank You for opening up my eyes, so I can turn my eyes upon You..
These few past months, I've looked for something I knew I wouldn't get it from anywhere else but God, but I ignored that feeling and kept looking for. And, yeah you know, the result was zero. Big, big zero. Anything happens in my life in that moment had always ended up with disappointment, cause I dug from the wrong wells..
Now I try to change my focus. I won't to live that way continually. I do want to change. And, as I intended to do so, slowly but sure I feel that my world is changing with me. I started to find many interesting thing to learn about, inspiring things are everywhere, and.. many good things are coming into my life! I also found that every blogs or websites I found had definitely have something to say to me. And they have really been encouraging me!
Yeah, feel like finding a brand new me. Someone I've never known inside me suddenly stands up right before me. I supposed that I've to learn about much more things that God has definitely granted to my life, something I used to ignore before :).
Thanks, Lord, for showing up Yourself to me. Now I see You everywhere, through anything I met in my life. If I had never seen You clearly before, it probably because I saw too much me. So I couldn't see the sun, only the shadow. Couldn't see the light, only darkness. Thank You for opening up my eyes, so I can turn my eyes upon You..
Friday, June 26, 2009
Help!!!
Please.. is there anyone who understands the blogger coding for I can change my font, its color and its size?
I've been trying for thousand times but it doesn't work.
Aaaaarrrggghhhh...
I've been trying for thousand times but it doesn't work.
Aaaaarrrggghhhh...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I'm Back!
Hi, everyone!
Here I am, back from my escape.. ^^
Yeah, these few past months I've been feeling so blue, or even black :). Many things happened and .. you know, sometime we can't (and won't to) talk to anyone about what we feel in life.
Honestly, for few times, I was scared to be back to my blogging habit. I hadn't used to open up myself and I was scared to be judged by my writing. (No, I don't mean that you my friends will judge me!) but you know me well enough. I used to regret and blame many things in my life as I feel sad or upset or disappointed. So I won't to bother you with my ridiculous stories again. Actually I want to be somebody who encourage others, not somebody who let ones down.. :).
And, I definitely miss my blog here. I miss you all. I miss sharing my life with y'all here, something I can't do in my native language hehehe. And, I miss share all the encouraging words or devotions as I used to. Moreover, my Y!360, place where I used to save all my important devos will be closed on the end of this month. So, I definitely have to be back here!
So, for a new beginning, please forgive me for not being here for a long, long time. Now I'm back with a new spirit, new stories, and new refreshed energy.
I promise. Or at least, I'll try:).
I eventually know that even though we don't see God, He's still working for our goodness. Please remind me if I forget it again! :)
Blessed be His Name!
Blessed be all of you, my dear friends..
Here I am, back from my escape.. ^^
Yeah, these few past months I've been feeling so blue, or even black :). Many things happened and .. you know, sometime we can't (and won't to) talk to anyone about what we feel in life.
Honestly, for few times, I was scared to be back to my blogging habit. I hadn't used to open up myself and I was scared to be judged by my writing. (No, I don't mean that you my friends will judge me!) but you know me well enough. I used to regret and blame many things in my life as I feel sad or upset or disappointed. So I won't to bother you with my ridiculous stories again. Actually I want to be somebody who encourage others, not somebody who let ones down.. :).
And, I definitely miss my blog here. I miss you all. I miss sharing my life with y'all here, something I can't do in my native language hehehe. And, I miss share all the encouraging words or devotions as I used to. Moreover, my Y!360, place where I used to save all my important devos will be closed on the end of this month. So, I definitely have to be back here!
So, for a new beginning, please forgive me for not being here for a long, long time. Now I'm back with a new spirit, new stories, and new refreshed energy.
I promise. Or at least, I'll try:).
I eventually know that even though we don't see God, He's still working for our goodness. Please remind me if I forget it again! :)
Blessed be His Name!
Blessed be all of you, my dear friends..
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