WHAT IS LIFE?

Hi, everyone!

Yeah.. I know.. it's been so long, long time since my last post. Hmm.. I hate to admit it but I've been thinking that I've got nothing to write here. Seriously. I've even once thought that maybe I lost my writing talent or what, because you know.. I couldn't write at all. I mean, I've got no inspirations as easy as I got usually to write on my blogs.. Hmhh..

Yeah.. sometimes life doesn't go as the way we want it.. We put our hopes on many aspects and.. boom! Something happens and.. all of them are suddenly broken. With no clue. Vanishes in just a wink. Even before we realize what's actually happening there!

Ok. I haven't been feeling okay these moments. Really, really not. I tend to blame my circumstance, my family, everything around me. You may know that there are times in life where all we can do is just blaming everything but ourselves. I'd been going through this stage and it's pretty hard for me. Felt as if somebody was spilling all the sins and guilty feelings over my shoulder and I had to bear it all myself. (Arrgghhh!!).

I even thought and asked soo many questions about God. Why He had been so quiet and had never answered all my questions to Him. I knew He might have some reasons but I couldn't be patient to hear it. I felt that I was abandoned and forsaken. I was alone, with the idea that even God Himself didn't want to show up for me. I was depressed and looking for clue without ones to find. Until I met a woman who had gone through sooo many struggles in life. This woman told me about how she fought against her breast cancer, while she and her family didn't have enough money to afford the cures. But she kept believe in God, that He would heal her and provide whatever she needed. She also told me about how God sent the money in the right time. But the story haven't ended yet. After she got well, she had to face that her husband's kidney had damaged. And any other following problems. She realized that it's much harder to face your spouse's pain than to bear it yourself. I've got pains, she said. Anguished, fears, sadness, and worries over my husband. After all, her husband will be retired on January next year, and they have to move to their own house -which hasn't finished being renovated yet- immediately. Can you imagine the feelings all the problems caused? (And I haven't told you all of the story! It's gonna be too long!).

Compare to what this family has been struggling with, what I faced was just a dust. Oh my.. ashamed me! How could I be so selfish and pity on myself and felt that kinda worst feeling? Yeah.. probably I have to learn how to be thankful in any circumstance. There always much harder lives out there. Much more difficult, struggling and full of pressures. But here I was, cry over my own little pain.. OMG..

Thank God it was all over for me. I just want to look at my future boldly, with no turning back, as I always did :). I know that God will make all things beautiful in His time in my life. All I need is just patience to wait for it. Meanwhile, I've to live my best life, which am trying to.

Yeah, I often think what should depressed people do in their depressing times. And now, I've got the answer: Besides keep struggling with their own circumstance, they'd better open their eyes to look carefully at other people's lives. Who can say they got the worst life if they had nothing to compare with?

Bible says that life is just as vapor, which will be vanished away, so take your moment and enjoy it. It's your life. Nobody can't steal it from you if you don't allow it!