Well, you may have read my last post. Maybe that was the truest feeling I’ve ever shared with all of you. Oh, to be honest, I couldn’t be that honest speaking out my deepest feeling in my native language :). (For I am so introvert so it’s not my ‘habit’ to share my deepest feeling with someone!). In my darkest situation, when all was blurred, I was out of my mind, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel, couldn’t say anything, when my heart was empty and yeah.. when I intended to suicide.. (I really meant it!), you know what God did? He sent me a puppy! Yes, a puppy. Can you imagine that?
I felt that I can’t open my eyes that evening. I just lied down on my bed with empty feeling. Broken. Depressed. Devastated. I cried and cried and still felt empty. Hopeless. Desperate.
Suddenly, my husband entered the room and whispered to my ear ‘Kris, open your eyes’.
‘No, I won’t. I can’t’, I replied.
‘Please, look at what I got for you.. Please..’, he insisted.
I opened my eyes and what did I see? A puppy. Very tiny, cute, scared and looked so desperate. I had no idea where that puppy came from. She just looked so scared, sad and miserable.
‘Whose puppy is it?’ I asked him.
‘I don’t know..’, he replied.
‘Where do you get it?’ I asked him again.
‘I don’t know. A little boy (who lives in our neighborhood) just came over and asked whether this is our puppy. He found it was entering his house. He’s never seen this puppy before. He had asked around this neighborhood but nobody knows, so he thought probably she’s ours and take her here..’.
Oohh..
(FYI, people hates dog here, commonly because of their belief , so it’s so rare if one would have dog here, mostly in our neighborhood).
I just woke up, looked at the puppy carefully, and immediately fell in love with her (oh, yes, I’m a dog lover!). ‘So sad.. Let me take care of her..’.
‘You sure?’ my husband asked me in doubt, not to forget the moment I was histerically cried few minutes ago.
‘Yeah, I’m sure..’. Magically, my misery, depression and all kinda worst feeling was vanished, changed by love and compassion for that puppy.
I put her in my embrace, seeing that she was so scared and shy, and found myself was deep in love with her.
Well, maybe this is just a simple and ridiculous story I’ve ever told you, but it was true. I just thought, may that puppy was sent by God to calm me down? Or to remove my depression? Yeah, I have no idea. But one thing I’m sure, that my Heavenly Father has definitely never forsakes me. He always be there for me, works for my goodness, whether I could see Him or not, and, He works in His misterios ways. I may not understand, but what I’ve to do is just trusting Him with all my heart.
Yeah, like a quote I ever read, ‘something commonly gets worse before it gets better’.. In this way, I probably should develop a new relationship with God. I don’t get
His plan, but I understand that He can use anything to get me improving a deeper understanding of His ways..
This idea was just came across my mind: If only God sent me a person or two, I might refuse them. But, He knows the best. He sent me a puppy (that I’ve never got the idea where she came from till now), so I just threw away my misery and filled my heart with love for her instead.
Oh, my.. this was something unthinkable but really, really worked for me..
Have you ever faced something more ridiculous –but worked for you- than my story? :)
Oh, before I forget, I’m really thankful for getting so sweet, reminding and encouraging comments from my dear friends, Fishhawk and Cybercelt. Thank you so much. Your words were so helping. I’m really appreciate that. God bless y’all, my friend. Thank you for being God’s blessing for me..
Am getting better now. Relieved, recovered and blessed.
Unto God be all the praises and honor and glory..