... And The Journey Has Begun!

Okay. I'm a little bit confused here about the timing calculation of pregnancy. When I googling to find any useful info due to the pregnancy, I found that the calculation is started from the first day of my last period, so by the time I got the positive pregnancy test (3 weeks after fertilization), I considered to be 5 weeks pregnant. So now, when I consider myself to be 5 weeks pregnant, I should be 7 weeks pregnant. Oh my.. so confusing, isn't it?

I start to consider eating as a chore. Always feel hungry! At first weeks I couldn't eat a lot. I would feel uncomfortable by then so I have to cut off my normal portion. I would eat just a half portion. A little but often. But now, I seem to be a monster that eats any kind of food!! -LOL-.

Although exercise is good for mom-to-be, still I'm afraid. Besides I'm an exercise hater, I'm also afraid that the exercise will hurt the baby (at least, that's my opinion!).

The weather is unpredictable here, so it's so hard to find sunlight to get sunbathed in the morning. These past weeks, the sky has always been cloudy, especially in the morning. I don't even know whether it's summer or rainy here. Sometime it's hot, and just in a little while, the sky turns cloudy, and suddenly the rain falls down.

According to babycenter.com, at this week, the baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of blueberry. Can you imagine it? Honestly I can't. For me, it's too difficult to imagine, but it reminds me of some verses from Psalm 139:

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16, NIV

Yes, I praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, the same way He does with the baby in my womb. He makes this little creature in the secret place -inside my body- even without any intervention of mine! How wonderful it is..

I am good, feeling fine, but I'm sad that so far, my hubby is the one who so often gets sick. Here in Indonesia, pregnant women used to yearn for some kind of food along the pregnancy. It's called 'mengidam' or 'ngidam' here. My hubby had promised me a long, long time before I got pregnant that he will be ngidam when I get pregnant, so I don't need to be busy preparing or 'fighting' for the food I'm yearning for (especially if I should ngidam in the midnight). So maybe that's why he gets sick and I'm fine.. :) I hope he gets well soon and everything goes better everyday.

Yeah.. the journey has begun and I am trying to enjoy every single moment of it..

A New Beginning

You know what, I've just found that I am... pregnant!!!

Yeah, if you know me in person, you might know that I'm not someone who really desires a baby. My first two years of marriage was filled by all the questions about the baby, and it completely drove me crazy!

I don't know how my feeling was when I got the fact that I got pregnant. Happy, sad, confused, and in between.. Yeahh.. I'm happy because this is such a gift. But I'm sad and confused at once because many dreams won't be achieved immediately. But yeah, however, I'll take this as a great blessing from God. So many couples yearn to have a child but for many reasons, they can't. So I have to be thankful, right? :)

One thing I also am thankful for is that I got no morning sickness or anything sort of that. I am healthy and I am feeling good, have no big changes on my body, even till I often ask myself 'Do I really pregnant?' hahaha. Just make sure..

Honestly, this is one of unexpected things I find in my journey. But I try to have no regret in life. Whatever happens in my life, happens for a reason. So I can stand still and keep walking however the circumstance is.

Please pray for me, friends. It's a new experience for me. I am really newbie in this! I've never imagined myself being pregnant but I am ready for what will happen. Although me and my hubby hadn't planned this child yet, but I'm sure God has planned it even before we did. Sometime I worry about things relating to this pregnancy (most of moms-to-be should understand this feeling!^^). But once again, I know God knows the best for me and my family. He planned it all and He's working, no matter I see Him or not, and He always be there for us so I don't need to be worried bout a thing..

Blessings, everyone!

Life Must Go On!

Last week, 2 faithful ladies, members of our church had passed away. One because she was old (91 yrs), and another one was because she had been keeping something in her mind for months. Well, both were faithful church members we can never forget. All families and relatives of them both must be very proud of them. After all, we can say that both had received all the peace and joy that God only can provide in heaven above.

Okay, I won't talk about the old one. I just want to share with you about the younger lady that God had called home to be with Him. She was such a faithful lady. She was diligent, always got involved in any church programs, willing to be a volunteer if needed, and had a great faith in God. But one thing I regret about her death was she couldn't give up her life and her cares to God. She always felt that everything was her responsibility and she had to bear all problems on her shoulders herself. She always said that she had been a faithful follower of God but she couldn't stand those problems for any longer. She regretted many things in life. And all thing she wanted was just die. Yeah, she always repeated that to us. No matter how many advices, counsels or strengthen words we told her, she kept the death idea in her mind. She did have a heart disease for years, but it had never bothered her as she hadn't be bothered by her minds.

I don't believe if someone says that age is in God's hands. Yup. That may be right. But it also depends on how we spend our lives. Actually, we can cast all our anxieties and worries upon Him. But, it's still be our choice. We can also keep those problems in our minds instead. You may remember when I wrote here that I intended to suicide because I wasn't able to stand for my life for any longer. At that times, I supposed that I wasn't afraid to facing death at all. I was ready. Indeed. But for now, after seeing what had happened with my beloved sister in faith, I doubt it. I started to rethink and reevaluate my life. What is my life for? Is it worth it to fight for? And finally, I came up to a conclusion that my life is precious indeed. No matter what may happen to me, I have one life and have to do something with it.

Oh my.. how a death could awaken us and change our point of view about life! I'm not thankful for the lady's death, but I'm thankful that through that, I was reminded that life is too short to spend with crying and blaming and regretting and disappointment and any other bad feelings.
Yup.
Life must go on..
What will you fill your life with?

Life is Such As A journey

Life is such as a journey.

We have to walk through this journey and head for a certain destination. Many things we've got to encounter in this journey. Some things are easy and some are pretty hard. Many things have just been unpredictable to us. We can't annoying it and keep walking instead, no. We must be put our focus on everything happens in our very own journey.

Well, we are heading for a certain purpose. Sometimes we know it pretty well, but there were times we were lost. Couldn't find the clue the universe has provided. Well, especially in receiving God's blessing. We like to think that everything will be going all right. That everything is okay. That we don't need to do something to gain it. It would be blessed for us freely, we guess. Even we use to take it for granted, don't we?

After all, we have to do something in our journey. We can't just take a sit, shut down and wait for something great. Nothing's gonna be happening then. We have to rise up, stand up and move, doing something good for our life. We don't want to be such as common people, do we? We don't want to live a common life. Each of us do want to be having an especially fabulous wonderful life.... or that sort of thing! (Don't we???)

And to reach that purpose, there's no other way but paying the price. No matter how much it costs, we still have to pay it. We shouldn't loose any chance to gain a better level in our life. And the chances often comes hard. Uneasy. Painful. Through all the difficulties. Need a profound contemplation. Apparently it seems so hard to be reached, too far away to be approached, too high to be climbed, too heavy to be burdened. But, it wouldn't change the fact we have to face. Anyway, we still need to pay the price. We have to pay the price for everything we do as well as for anything we don't. Ough, seems unfair..

So, instead of take a sit, let's take a move. Let's do something good in this short life!
Besides, we do need to face the feeling hurt. To face the irritating thing. To be painful may be the best way we have to walk through. But it's okay. Keep walking. Don't ever stop or terminate your journey. It'd be useful for your spiritual growth, it'd be strengthening your bones, your nerves and particular muscle in your spiritual body. You'll get immune by then! Faint and disappointments apparently have been becoming a particular way for God's children in living their life so far..

And, if we didn't want to take the responsibility, we'll never get any reward nor blessing from the heaven above. We wouldn't get anything either from this life. Maybe, He created us for such a time like this.. Don't care about what people say. They might be wrong. They might be rude or whatever the problem they were facing. But for us, we have to keep faithful. Keep walking. Keep struggling. And don't be surrendered. We have the power we need to make this war inside already .

So, face it. Face up to your challenges. Face up to your problem. Face up to your giants. Scratch it's face and let's shout 'We'll face you and we'll win this game'. We'll get arrived safe and secure at the point we are heading for someday.

If we keep walking.
Don't ever be surrender but trust in The Lord and cast all your cares upon Him.

Let's make our journey forward...