When Life Is Going Nowhere..

Have you ever felt that your life was going nowhere? Stuck. No ways to walk out. Trapped in a pit without sunshine to shine on your face? Read your Bible, praying and do your Christianity to-do lists without finding anything that gets you out of there?

Yeah.. I have been going through that situation. Reading my Bible without understanding what was God speaking to me, praying without any clue that my prayers will get answered. I have no idea why God seems to leave me. He appears to walk away from me. He has been silent for .. I don't now, it seems forever for me. A long, long time without good connection with God. As I know, I've been trying to do anything good, but I always failed. God seems to be nowhere, don't care how hard I push myself to approach Him.

I just felt I couldn't stand it any longer. I told God this morning to speak to me through anything. I would open my laptop, checked my emails, my daily devotionals, and I was hoping that He heard me and would get me into a place I could meet Him or at least, heard His voice. And you know, I didn't know how, I arrived at Lysa Terkeurst's blog (you can read the post here) where she wrote about her experience with God, and the same feeling as I've been feeling for months.

Here's what she wrote ..

There have been many days in my Christian journey where God was reduced to something on my to do list. Somewhere along the way I picked up a checklist of sort of what good Christians are supposed to do: Pray. Read your Bible. Go to church. Don't cuss. Be nice.

Being the rule following girl I am, I subscribed to that list and waited with great expectations to receive the zap of contentment and happiness good Christians girls are supposed to exude.

And then I felt something was wrong me.

I still felt restless. I still got angry. I still felt a bit hollow.

I was going through all the motions but didn't feel connected to Jesus. Others around me seemed very connected. They would talk of being 'moved by the spirit.' They would hear from God himself. They would clap their hands and shout amen in the middle of a sermon that sounded like Greek to me.

I often felt like a weightless soul grasping at the air hoping to somehow snag this Jesus that was just out of reach.

Have you ever been there?

(You can continue reading by clicking the link above).

And this was exactly what I feel! And yeah.. I also found that this post had 74 comments! It means that almost 74 people once in their lives ever felt this way, too. I continued reading the comments and found this encouraging comment from Joyful (you must read her encouraging blog!).

I read once that the Lord can only be silent with those He knows will continue to seek His face. He sees you. He loves you. He is with you. His word never returns void. Keep spending time with Him. I just really feel He is molding something very special within your heart. I know sometimes it's hard. I know sometimes it's frustrating. Don't give up. He sees the longing of your heart and His Word promises that those who diligently seek Him will find Him.

It got me thinking. Could it be me? Could God be silent with me because He knows that I will continue to seek His face? I don't know. So far, I persevere :).

And this one from Anonymous..

Although life gets hectic, there are reminders all around us. If we look up and see the changing sky, the clouds dancing and changing color. We are experiencing a reminder of the One who created it all.

Okay. I have to admit. Perhaps God has been showing me His clues and direction for me to find, but probably my eyes can't see it clearly, because of all pains and sorrows I've been bearing these times had become my main focus. Hopefully, we all can see His directions through anything He puts around us to remind us that He, God of the universe is there, not leaving us alone..

Forgive me, Lord. Please, let me see You. I want to know You deeper. I want to see Your glory revealed through and in my life. Use me according to Your will. Take my whole life, Lord. Please, don't leave me alone. I can't handle it myself. I need You.

Thank You for speaking to me through certain blogs and its comments.

Blessed be Your Name..