What They Forgot To Tell You About Pregnancy

What they forgot to tell you about pregnancy

What it feels like to have your ribs used as footrests...from the inside.

That sometimes it appears like you have a strange alien creature with 10 arms and legs about to burst out your belly button...ewww!!

That you will probably want to go out and buy a box of adult diapers for the amount of times you end up peeing in your underwear while coughing, sneezing, laughing or throwing up.

That by the end of your pregnancy, you will need a forklift to help get you off the couch or bed (or at least one really strong person).

That even the silliest of things will make you cry your eyes out.

How many times you will have to call the doctor about all your super embarrassing female questions.

That the toilet will become your new "best friend" or "second home" for at least one reason or another.

That you don't really know the meaning of a full bladder until you've had to do an ultrasound....or been kicked there from the inside.

How bad those mood swings really can be...watch out everyone!

That you will get so big, you will have to stand sideways when washing dishes, doing laundry or brushing your teeth.

That everybody else around you apparently is a pregnancy expert, especially your mother in law.

That you won't be cutting your own toenails for quite a few months if you can't get anyone to help you.

Forget about shaving for quite a while too...unless you REALLY trust your partner!

That it becomes really hard to squat over the toilet with all that extra weight...talk about good leg exercises!

That the simplest of things, like walking up a flight of stairs or walking to get the mail, would make you feel like you really need a nap.

That people suddenly feel like they have the right to rub and pat your growing belly...like it's not attached to the rest of you.

That the word "discharge" would become a common part of your vocabulary....and the scary thing is...you won't be embarrassed!

That they just don't make sexy bras in DD's. It's all about support, support and more support!

Sexy underwear...you can forget those too! Comfort and cotton...that's it!

That you will never look at your husband quite the same again.

That your breasts start leaking BEFORE the baby is even here yet.

That you will cry when strangers say to you, "any day now?", when you are only 6 months along.

That whoever coined the term "morning sickness" didn't know what they were talking about. What it should be named is "morning, midday, afternoon, evening and night sickness".

What it actually feels like to be kicked or headbutted in the cervix..owww!!

That rolling over in bed from one side of your body to the other is a huge chore requiring lots of huffing and puffing.

That the sleepless nights begin BEFORE the baby is born.

That you had better buy some slip on shoes for when you get real big...unless you are going to have someone around to tie your shoes for you.

That you will spend so much time cleaning and re-cleaning the same exact things over and over again in preparation for the baby's arrival.

That you won't care how much of a pig you look like when you gobble down your second full plate of food...much to every one's amazement!

That memory is.....darn it! What was I going to say?

That you can both hysterically laugh and hysterically cry within the same few moments.

That your sense of smell is a lot better than it used to be, especially when it comes to the things that make you nauseous.

That you will start to break out in pimples like you are going through puberty all over again.