About Forgiveness

Have you ever feel hatred? Or anger? Someone made a mistake or touched you right on your most sensitive or painful area within your soul, so that you can't release forgiveness? And to make it worse, the mistake was repeated over and over and over again, right exactly the same way. You had tried indeed to forgive that people, but oh, it seemed not enough to happen for once or twice, but you did have to be hurt for trillion zillion times in your life.

What would you do then?

A big desire to punish? To revenge? To display your wrath? So do I. At least, it was the first idea that popped out of my mind. Oh, I always thought that I needed to do all the worst things a man can do over anyone who had hurt me, but oh please, -thank God- He has always succeeded to stop me and paused me for a while to think profoundly before doing a thing.

To be frank, it's uneasy for a bad temper like me to calm down and shut down myself, but I then realized that God has never given up with me. So I have to do the same. (It's very true that so very easy for me to give up in my relationship with other people. If one made mistake, I immediately withdrew myself and took a distance, I didn't want to talk with or even look at that people's face. Oh, so horrible, wasn't I?).

I received a devotional from Max Lucado that said to leave my enemies in God's hands. Like I wrote above, is it easy? No, it's very, very hard. But probably, it's worth it to try. (Actually, if it depends on me, I'll talk to God like Max said 'oh, God, Your punishment seems too little or too slowly, so I'll take this matter into my hands'!).

I have to realize that I'm still in this process. We are all in His process. We're not finished yet. Like my friend said, if you can't forgive someone because of a small thing, so your value was just as small as that thing.

Ough..

Here's what Max wrote that also kicked me..

Your enemies still figure into God’s plan. Their pulse is proof: God hasn’t given up on them. They may be out of God’s will, but not out of his reach. You honor God when you see them, not as his failures, but as his projects.

Even though I'm not sure whether I can consider my enemy as God's projects or not, I think it's worth it to make a try. Oh yes, I will.

(Please pray for me for this. I need your prayer. I mean it!).

How about you? :)